Yet to be named

One week down!

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 00:43:18 -0400

Honestly, i have gotten myself so used to not applying myself to things i want to achieve that i am shocked that i am living my previous words. By previous words i mean what i said in my last post, and since said post i have made it through my first week of the tenth grade living what i said. I am focusing on “the now” and achieving things on time without help. And even though my first week was only three days, i feel i surpassed what i could have done before in a normal week. And i have been contented with myself, for once, throughout my first weekend and can not wait for school tomorrow.

Since the first day of school i have felt a dramatic difference in everything around me because of the changes i have made. I am noticing smaller things in life and putting more thought into things i need to say. And i believe that at this rate i will be capable of having A’s in all my classes by the end of the year. And most importantly, i will get out of the program i have been in since the eighth grade. Because, i am as capable of getting things done as any other student at my school or more and my teachers know it. I do not need aids attending me in my classroom when i can easily get it done by myself. And as much as i thank those people for helping me while i needed it, my next step in life is to move on from needing them.

Really, having the disorder i do is not a life changing thing for me and any real problems it presents to me can be easily dealt with. And even though i have not had as much time to learn about it considering i was diagnosed in the seventh grade, i have made progress. I just can not stress enough how scared i am of people treating me differently because they know what i have. That is why even eluding to what i have on my Tumblr is a pretty giant leap for me. It seems people generally have a low understanding of disorders and disabilities and i feel like somebody hearing about my minor ailment will cause them to think i am “retarded”. A meaningless word, but what a lot of people use to summarize people they think have “something wrong with their brain”. But in the end the only person who really reads my crap is Dsdude so it does not really matter if i bring it up. And no, i do not have ADHD… do not get me started on people who use that to get out of work and other things they are totally capable of doing.

On another note, i am absolutely loving Geometry so far, it has to be one of my favorite classes. It is good to enjoy math again and find something that is fun and easy to understand. It is something i am interested in and hope to enjoy it more as the year progresses. My World History/World Religion/Other Stuff class or whatever it is called is also looking to be a good class. I can not wait to dive into gory and brutal events throughout World War 2 and other historical events where people killed each other in mass numbers over land, religion, and other typical things. Speaking of religion, that is going to be an interesting point of the class considering i want to further my understanding of it.

And even further speaking of religion, that is one thing i want to do. Well… i do not want to “do religion”… but i want to learn about it. Because i am a skeptic currently who really wants to argue my thoughts, but refuses to do so until i feel i am knowledgeable on the topic. So since i will only argue what i feel i have a higher reason to believe in, i might as well start figuring out what i believe. Because i love the church i have attended and want to be capable of figuring out what is right and wrong… and what needs to be fixed. I hope to read the bible as a start and educate myself on other religious texts as well. So far i feel i will want to argue against creationism as a whole, but also feel i need to learn about other “isms” before i attack one of them.

You know, i am really glad that after i got back from being somewhere other than my computer i spent the time i had on my computer writing this. I mean what would i be doing otherwise; sitting on 4chan indirectly exposing myself to severed toes, animal abuse, and child pornography whilst further leaching away my ever dwindling reason of existance. Or on Dota 2… ya that is what i always do. Anyway before i end this i want to say that i feel these changes will stay throughout my year and hopefully for many more. I can look at things in a new light now, like my argument with Bryant who i previously referred to as “v”, and just accept he probably will not talk to me again for some time. I have to take it like a dead loved one, push past those last moments and remember the good times. Anyway i need to go rot in the 4chan cesspool for the next 19 minutes, goodbye!

-Aftershocks

A realization at the end of it...

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 00:59:00 -0400

Today is many things; the last day of summer, the day i got to have my online friend Skylic come over to my house for the first time, and finally a day of thought. It is 9:45 at the moment i am typing this very sentence, and i have to be in bed by 10:00 which means i will have to rush things, but that is not all bad. It really helps me get my thoughts down of paper, or rather blog without over thinking them, so maybe this limitation is a good one. Anyway onto the topic i was intending to write about.

I always end my summers with a sick feeling in my gut due to a feeling, or rather lack of a feeling of accomplishment. Although i do admit that i do slightly experience that today it is not as strong as before. This Minecraft world that probably nobody is reading about here is an accomplishment in it’s own way, and in that i have pride. But i also have come to a realization, and one i find to be important. My dream of making games, actually just all things i want to do, do not need to wait. What i mean is, i always say “I will make games when i grow up” or “I will achieve this when i grow up” etc. etc. etc. but really i have a skewed sense of time. Because whatever inside of me is making me find a limit in age is wrong and needs to be changed. I can do the “when i grow up” stuff now. And i believe that doing that stuff now is going to benefit me at a larger level than me waiting. I have proven to myself, by continuing to progress on my minecraft world, that i CAN get myself to do thing… and i will.

Goodnight,

-Aftershocks

Out of my system

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 17:11:00 -0400

It seems to me that regardless of an individuals will power to stay on topic everything will eventually trail elsewhere once and awhile. This is mostly to boyfriend/girlfriend issues, and other first world problems that i am not going to name for lack of patience to write a 500+ paragraph book on the matter. And since this is my Tumblr i am going to stray from the topic, just for today hopefully, of my map to get something off my chest…. luckily not related to relationships.

Well, the last statement is arguable because i talk with the guy i am writing about so much one of my friends tend to call him my “boyfriend” and some of my recent comments i have exchanged with him sound like i am trying to mend a dwindling relationship. Anyway i have decided to leave this person’s name out of this, unlike Eminem and his songs making out his wife to be a bitch, because if any of my friends care to read this than they will know anyway.

There is a guy, who i shall refer to as v, who i have been frequently communicating with for a few years now, online, who i have formed a pretty close bond with. Even though he lives in Indianapolis i still considered him up there with some people i know in real life. We started out our pseudo relationship in Garry’s mod where he was always there for me… to break my crap. Although we were never on the best terms then, a life altering event, in which he apparently never described in as much detail to some of his irl friends as he did to me, changed him as a person and he started talking to me. What started as me seeing how long it would take for him to turn back into his old self, eventually turned into a couple of years of constant communication and gaming with each other.

One notable event that occurred during this span of time i spent with him is what may very well be one of the largest screw ups i ever will ever make regarding money. Regardless of the version of the story i may tell you it started with me having $150 and ended with him having that exact amount… in steam games. That was around the time he quit playing Tf2 so i got his whole inventory for what i did. Sadly, he had never returned to Tf2… although he has good reason.

There was a period of time where v and another friend of his and mine really did not like each other. Than v brutally sucked up to him for reasons that were beyond what he really needed to do. Ironically enough, the change in v started occurring when i got the two back together; v and his friend both slowly started acting differently. This is something i noticed along with another person who hung around the guy a lot.

Ever since v got himself really involved into Arma 2 though, he has acted very strangely. Apparently he got annoyed at me over my concentration in game and blocked me for a bit almost permanently ending our friendship. The person he said also noticed it had no clue what v meant; and eventually v messaged me on Facebook sucking up for things when it was partially my fault. Something i hate that he did when i deserved some blame.

A lot of the people he talks to now are dicks to me and the time v actually stood up for me he almost made it into a joke if anything. Between each comment about how they treated he he told me to shut up and practically turned it into a comedy act. I thought it was just me noticing these changes in him until his friend who i talked about earlier confirmed it. One of his friends who only types is surprisingly older than us since he acts like he is twelve and gets away with stuff v would never let us get away with. Another one v’s good friends in which he knows at school had a private chat with me in Raidcall about the changes she noticed in v and how she felt v was being rude to her.

Not to long ago i messaged him asking if i could join his Killing Floor game and he got off the game the moment i messaged him. I thought it was because he did not like me, but decided to make a joke out of it saying “and you get off.” The next message he sent “Yes we do we played for 12 hours straight.” confused me. I and whoever i have send this chatlog to now still are equally confused with this. Did he mean “we” as in him and i or other people i did not know of. Because i do not remember playing with him for 12 hours straight. When i expressed my confusion he told me to shut up and play my game. Because he was so rude i decided to persist after he said “One more messege and I’m blocking again.” and inevitably he blocked me to get away from his problems.

V is still one of the most sophisticated people of his age i have talked to. It was unlike him to spell the word message wrong as he did above and in other chats regarding me to his friends that they share with me i noticed he also did. The only reason i still care about him is because he is not like this and i need to find a reason. Even though i have a lot of friends on my side i only have used one proxy to get in contact with him after this argument. Ironically v told the proxy i have been doing this to him but that was not true considering i respected him for a whole week after the argument and he was the first proxy.

I convinced one of his friends to address her feelings about v’s treatment of her to v in order to change it. I learned a lot by reading the conversation and think this will be fixed eventually. I do not know why he never addressed that i messaged him to much nor why he holds all his problems in. If he told me i would have corrected it. If you ever read this v, i never asked for this.

-Aftershocks

Twitter Updates!

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:04:00 -0400

Until now, i have been sort of iffy on small map updates. I mean i feel like posting every little bit of my progress, thoughts, and work on my map would be a bit overkill. But i still want to get that information out somehow; so i will be putting all of that on my Twitter. This is so i can avoid filling up my Tumblr with posts that look like “Imma maik a mowntin rite hear.” Because what better place exists to post EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION you can think of than Twitter. Jokes aside i will continue to put all the large important posts here; but please check my twitter for my thoughts, questions, secrets in the map, and more. Also, in the case you did not know, you can click the underlined word “Twitter” in this post to get sent right to that exact thing. Funny, i never realized HTML was that easy.

-Aftershocks

I am just gonna leave this here…

Sat, 04 Aug 2012 21:33:44 -0400

I am just gonna leave this here…

Milestone 1…

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:23:45 -0400

Milestone 1…

Awaiting 1.3

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 22:57:00 -0400

Apparently while i was busily working on my Minecraft map, it slipped my mind that the 1.3 update is going to drop.. like today. And as excited as i am for 1.3 and implementing some of the new stuff into the map, i actually do not know that much about it. I mean i heard a bit from some kids at my karate; because apparently everyone plays Minecraft now-a-days, but other than that it will probably be a surprise!

Anyway just to make everyone remains comfortable in their seats over the next couple of hours, my friend Skylic reminded me to make a copy of my map; ensuring my map is safe even in the case something goes horribly HORRIBLY wrong. Anyway as a thank you to that fine young Asian, i will put a link to his Youtube channel at the bottom of this post. Anyway everyone should be looking forward to the 1.3 update and the new youtube video i am going to release about the map, and some plans i have for it, because i certainly will.

Skylic’s Youtube account: http://www.youtube.com/user/iskyca?feature=results_main (I think he is making a new one, i will change this link if he does.)

-Aftershocks

dsdude: My M93R. I fucking love this gun. So this is what he...

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 22:22:18 -0400

dsdude:

My M93R. I fucking love this gun.

So this is what he was menacingly cocking back while i was talking to him on raidcall…

My progress over the last week on the beach/edge of the...

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 13:38:47 -0400

My progress over the last week on the beach/edge of the Cornucopia Island!

Fixed my computer... back to work

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 13:03:00 -0400

Hey readers, in the case that you did not know i will inform you that my computer has been having some trouble for awhile now. It would give me a blue screen on start-up occasionally and crash during DotA 2 matches collectively garnishing my score with a bunch of “You left in the middle of a game” stats which TOTALLY do not make me look like i rage-quit. Over a month ago i cleaned my computer for the first time and swallowed the five layers of dust encased within; that had been accumulating since the last time my computer guy was over. Anyway i thought it was fixed for awhile but apparently i was very wrong.

It seems the dust damaged my graphics card and the problems hit an all time high the last two weeks or so. So, long story short i have a new up-to-date graphics card and four new memory cards which adds up to a total of six. I also got No More Heroes for the PS3 and a new headset. The latter being something which you probably could already tell that i really needed if you ~~heard the static coming from~~ could hear anything over the static from my last headset in the video i made showing off my map. Speaking of my map i decided that since the steam sales are over and i have less to distract me i shall ironically return to 16x16 bit textured Minecraft. I find this funny since now my computer can easily run games like Crysis, Nexuiz, Battle Field 3, Arma 2, and whatever else i want to. But yes, i shall abandon the beautiful graphics for a bit and work on my Minecraft world. I actually have been working on it on and off for a week or so; but i really need to finish the beach around the cornucopia island. Also i will be working on the underground spawn complex that will have all the rules on signs and allow you to pick which hole you will come out of at the start.

As a last note, now that i have a new graphics card i want to change what i had to say about Nexuiz in my “First Impressions” thing i did in the last post. But, instead of editing that post however, i will make an entirely new one… eventually. Anyway i shall go now, off to the toile- i mean Minecraft.

-Aftershocks

A warm feeling in my pants + Nexuiz first impressions

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 21:52:00 -0400

Hey, i just want to say thank you for all the positive feedback that i have received so far on my unfinished map. It truly has left me with a strong feeling of warmth in my heart… and my pants. And in the case that you are wondering about that very map I AM WORKING ON IT… just… slowly. This is due to the massive steam sale that has dropped this summer which has kept me preoccupied for the last week or so. I still will always remember last year’s treasure hunt; but Metro 2033 for like 2 bucks is pretty good as far as i am concerned! Another interesting thing i picked up for about 2 buck was Nexuiz; which by my friend’s pronunciation of it, i was convinced it was called “Neck Squeeze”; which would not be a far from realistic title for a game nowadays considering the ongoing boom in Indy titles.

Nexuiz is an undeniably impressive game; atleast graphics wise which is more obvious when you hear it was made in CryEngine 3. You know CryEngine 3 right? That engine that was used to make other graphics powerhouses such as the Crysis series and a bunch of other games most of you will not recognize off the top of your heads. The shotgun looks like a piece of art and the “few” maps you are given so far are absolutely gorgeous with high graphics settings. Most of the indoor maps have sub-Halo Reach-ish looking textures; white bubbles somehow materialize from the ground and float around you if you are not airborne; and battlefield 3 flashlight beams blast their way out of the heavens and reflect off even the slightest metallic surface causing a retina piercing, pupil dilating beam of pain and agony to be present on the screen at all times.

Aside from beautiful graphics it plays like a classic shooter such as Quake or Unreal Tournament. In fact it is based off of a 2005 release of the same name that can be downloaded on moddb for free; and for those of you interested but way to lazy to look it up on your own i will put a link at the bottom of this post! The maps may be beautiful and “new” looking but play like the kind of symmetric maps you would find in classic shooters. There are fixed weapon spawns and shield fragments scattered in various places throughout the maps; along with teleporters and jump pads that send you flying to hard to reach areas.

As you play Nexuiz you will receive what the game calls dynamic mutators; which are power-ups that will benefit you, your team, or change the game in some way. Basically, a little thing pops up in the corner with 3 different mutators and you hit left, up, or right (default) on your numpad respectively to choose which one you want. They can do anything from making a certain gun very powerful, giving you the ability to steal the enemies health on hit, giving everyone jetpacks, changing the game sounds to fart sounds, giving everyone jetpacks, nuking the battlefield, and most importantly… GIVING EVERYONE JETPACKS. In all sincerity though jetpacks are fun but they do not benefit you in the same way as the strength one; which makes you a one man shotgun toting warrior by giving you more “strength” (read damage) then anyone truly needs. In the end though most of them except the glorious jetpacks meld with the rest of the game and do not have a “game changing” effect unlike what the creators say they do. The “Big Heads” power-up for example seems to not make them big enough and does not even really give you that much extra head to shoot. Of course this is a game where some of the characters “heads” are an armored plate slightly elevated above their shoulders.

Now aside from everything previously mentioned the meat of all of this rambling has to be the… matching… experience. In Nexuiz you can experience the thrill of jumping head over heals into a whopping eight maximum player match where the other players practically teleport every 5 seconds due to pings that are higher then whatever amount of praise i have previously bestowed upon this game’s graphics.

Speaking of graphics, you know how sky lining is supposed to be a bad thing; while in Nexuiz the light practically covers up people with their backs to the sky giving them more cover then a clump of grass hiding in a field of grass. This can be fixed if you turn the graphics down to the lowest setting but then you get to view the game in awe inspiring Unreal Tournament 2004 vision; and if the slightest traces of sarcasm were hard to pick up then i will tell you that this is not a good thing. I am not insulting UT 2k4 since i have never played it; but i want to be able to have a good experience online while playing with graphics that my computer CAN HANDLE. And unless you want to sit on bot matches all day that can be a very bad thing especially considering it’s a game made for multiplayer.

Also the game has a silly little habit of causing you to… well… not move. That is right sometimes you will spawn and you can not move at all so you better be a pretty good point defense turret or your future is not looking to bright my friend. I think i heard the cause of this was when the host leaves but none the less it is a big problem. Also remember back when i said there are “few” maps in the game? I ****ING MEANT IT! It has three CTF maps and six TDM maps and if they try and fix this with DLC… somebody is going to want somebody dead. Aside from quoting the TF2 sniper i really feel they should add a load of modability to this game. That was what made those “old time shooters” so good.

In conclusion Nexuiz is a beautiful game that still needs a lot of work in it’s matchmaking capabilities.

Original Nexuiz: http://www.moddb.com/games/nexuiz

-Aftershocks

Minecraft Hunger Games Reveal!

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:18:00 -0400

Minecraft Hunger Games Reveal!

My World Of Wonders (Reveal 3/3)

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:28:00 -0400

Well, this is the big day! Although i will not be typing about it in any further detail in this post. I will instead let the Youtube video above do that for me!

Sand

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:07:00 -0400

Sand

Forest

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:06:50 -0400

Forest

Lake

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:06:22 -0400

Lake

My World Of Wonders (Reveal 2/3)

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:02:00 -0400

It seems i missed yesterday’s post; so i will do part two today, and part three tomorrow morning! Anyway, i do not have that much to say right now; i am saving that for tomorrow morning. And like last time, here is a picture… or three.

Cornucopia

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:18:13 -0400

Cornucopia

My World Of Wonders (Reveal 1/3)

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:16:00 -0400

For awhile now, i have been working on a rather large project in Minecraft; which i currently have named “My World Of Wonders.” Starting today i will be leaking pictures of it almost daily and eventually saying what it is. But for now, i shall provide one picture.

Hello World.exe

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 02:08:00 -0400

For the lack of a better opening statement I shall skip to my main proposition, or rather everything leading up to it. My name is Aftershocks; I am a thinker, and an aspiring writer; I am also the epitome of one who delays the latter. But as tomorrow marks the end of another year of my life, today marks something else. Today marks the day I have finally placed as many obstructions, “yes I would like to quit program” approvals, and space between anything I have been using; whether intentional or not; to hold myself back from achieving this feat. And by achieving this feat I mean to start a lowly tumblr account where I shall explore creative writing and perfect my skills at it. Although a small achievement, it will allow me to display my improvements publicly while maintaining a shroud of anonymity to protect myself from the mass amount of criticism i probably will receive. I hope to further develop my tumblr with short stories, poetry, and occasional responses to your submitted questions. In the end I would hope to improve my own confidence in my writings, and maintain the passion to write on this tumblr so it does not fade into obscurity.Although i know my literary abilities may be in an unrefined state, I would hope to find a sort of peace in writing here. And between the countless typos and grammatical abominations I would hope someone could find something beautiful.

In conclusion, welcome to my tumblr.